Jun 15, 2010

Bachelorette recap...you bunch of D-Bags.

Kasey – your voice has been like nails on a chalkboard to me this whole time. And then to add the random signing outbursts….you must just need to go home. And if you say one more time “to guard and protect your heart” my ears are going to BLEED and I’m going to begin to smash my head into the wall. I mean, we could play a drinking game to this it’s said SO f-ing much. BTW, a bandage around your wrist….why not just go on the roof and act like your gonna jump and then just say your bird watching when everyone asks what you were doing up there.

The Lion King debacle….I’m speechless. Are you sure these are straight guys….. Nothing against anyone, just an observation that they may have the wrong person playing Bachelorette on this season if you catch my drift. At least Jonathan didn’t cry this time. I think they are actually TRYING to make her not like them. I mean, come on, who would be attracted to these guys after this. It’s like if a guy you kind of like has a booger in his nose, and you don’t want to tell him, but you can’t look at him with it….it just kinda kills everything. That’s what this Broadway ordeal is like….a guy with a booger.

Jonathan – you freakin powder puff girl. Why, why, why, why can’t you be from Oklahoma…or Arkansas….or anywhere else but here. There are 49 other states…Take your Kleenex and go.

And here’s a little free advice for you guys out there. Girls……don’t……like…….to….be…..sung…..to. Unless you are on a stage, you SHOULD NOT DO THIS. You’re welcome.

The only thing missing this week was Rated Argh. You FAKER. I bet if someone put him on one side of a football field, lit his pants on fire and put the fire extinguisher at the other end his foot would magically heal. Quickly!

Ok….drum roll please……winner winner chicken dinner….I’m gonna call the final 3…..Chris, Fred, Kasey. HAHAHAHA….Just kidding…Chris, Fred, Roberto. That’s it people. The betting windows are now open.

Oh, one more thing. These are the worst dates EVA in the history of the Bachelor/Bachelorette season. Seriously, the people behind the scenes must sit around and think….hmm…what can we do to make these guys look like even bigger douche bags then they already are….Oh, I know, they can try out for the Lion King, try to make a dance video, pose in a calendar in a speedo, try to dance to a choir…for realz.

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