Jun 21, 2010

Roar.




I woke up in a FOUL mood today. F-O-U-L. I'm talking door slamming, dog kicking (not really), steering wheel gripping, telemarketer ass ripping foul. Captain Wonderful, dogs, the teenager should all run for cover. You know the saying "if you don't move it won't see you"? They should take it to heart. Big time. The pool guy came a day early and since every single pool float/toy/swimming thing we own is still in the pool from the weekend and I happened to glance out the window and see him look irritated as he dug stuff out of the skimmer....game on buddy...Gird Your Loins indeed. Lucky for him God took pity on him and intervened and saved his life the phone rang and distracted me. Close call pool guy. You should go buy a lottery ticket today or something.

It was my girlfriend, and the first thing I said was "Warning, It's a foul mood day". And she said "I need some advice". Me: "Didn't you hear me.....?" Her: "Perfect, that's just the kind of advice I need". Guess it was her lemons into lemonade lucky day.

I have also decided to make a list of things that the males in my house are incapable:
  1. Changing the toilet paper roll
  2. Throwing empty toilet paper rolls into the trash...it's so far....like beside the toilet
  3. Taking their clothes off anywhere else then beside their bed
  4. Picking up clothes out of the floor beside the bed - (I will be vacuuming around them from now on.) (Vacuum is a stupid word that is spelled ridiculous to make you look illiterate when you get it wrong).
  5. Aiming. (Enough said)
  6. Taking their 150 glasses from their nightstand to the kitchen
  7. Using only a towel for more then 1 day
  8. Not wearing EVERY SINGLE item of clothing they own in one weekend.  Apparently their must be fashion shows or events going on that I am unaware of or they are trying to set some kind of Guiness Record.
  9. Knowing when to fight and when to flee.
P.S.  - If I owned a grocery store I would put the tampons next to the wine. I'm just saying....makes sense.

P.S.S - This also explains my crippling desire for a Blizzard last night.

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